Slow your roll

So, for the last week or so Gucci has been sending me texts about going to dinner. At first, I didn’t think anything of it, but once dinner got underway, it became apparent that there was more to meet the eye here. We decide on Revolution Brewing Co that just opened up near him and generally has been too busy to go to during the week. A nice, quiet Sunday dinner was the plan. So upon meeting him there, I realized that he isn’t wearing sneakers and actually has a very nice collared shirt on and dress boots. Wait a hot minute, did this guy plan a date? Not as in, hey, let’s go to dinner and drinks, but hey, LET ME TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER kinda date. A real date. Where he actually planned and had foresight. It was kinda refreshing. I am use to paying my way, and almost always insist as to not give the guy an opportunity to think it is a date. It’s a protective measure that might be taken too far sometimes. Anyway, I asked Gucci about this and he said, yes, I wanted to take you out. Which is means to me that he planned a date and wanted to do something special. For me. Huh.

During dinner, we got to talking about life in general and whats going on. He is leaving to go to Madison in July for school. I will be leaving in May to go to DC for the summer for an internship (more on this later, I want to bask in the glow of my date still). He told me that when I suggested in the very beginning that we should still date other people, that’s when he became emotional despondent. I pointed out that because I knew he was leaving, I didn’t want to get attached and therefore opened the door for an open relationship. Ah…it would have been nice to date him for a while, exclusively, but I also don’t know if that is possible for me. While I think monogomy has its place and should be respected, I am just not there at the moment.

After dinner, we went to the Whistler and had some cocktails(hello! Blood and Sands!) and listened to an awesome bluegrass band. The rest of the night was spent discussing economics and nihilism, but not mutually together. We would find ourselves weaving these conversations in and out. It was wonderful and lovely. And then I remembered, that while I an incredibly attracted to this kid, it is also his mind that I really like. He might be young in general, but his thought patterns are very sexy to me. Can you fuck someone’s mind? But not be a mindfuck?

Hmm..he asked me to stay over during our night cap at the Two Way, over a shared Jameson shot and Old style in chilled mugs. I was actually hoping he would ask as sweetly as he did, since I wasn’t going to offer either. But nothing happened but some sweet kissing. I dunno what it is with the boy, but every time I see him, I get my period. It’s like he knows that every 28 days he should see me. Anyway, I think we have plans  to go to the Twisted Spoke for Whiskey Wednesday and more philosophical conversations. I look forward to seeing him again, for sure, even if the context is more about being implicitly interested in dating. I need to slow down and enjoy what I have sometimes.

Sex Horoscope – March

Finally, some good news I could use. FINALLY!

There are good months and there are great months. You, my dear Sag, are going to have an outstanding month! I cannot express in words what an amazing combination of cards these are. Things are manifesting left and right for you. Money is coming your way, partners are opening up in ways they never have before. All your fears are being replaced by hope and evidence of better times. The homework is to take all this good fortune and put it to good use. Remember, the wheel turns and things will once again shift, but for right now, you are on top of the world and you should really take in the view

As always, from the lovely Ida Lovelace and Carnal Nation

The unbearable lightness of being

My good friend, MP, was giving me shit lately because I haven’t updated the blog in a while. And while he is right, I think the reason might be is that I might be over the blog! Gasp!! What? Really? No way! Yes, really.

Yeah, so here is what’s up. I do not want to fuck around. Meaning, I am over trying to find someone I really interested in and putting the effort in to it. That’s not to say that I still am not dating, but it’s just that I am no longer feeling like it’s a priority in my life. I will continue to date and use okc or other forms as a way to meet interesting people, but I am not hell-bent on finding a partner to complete my life. I was actually thinking about starting another blog, focusing on work/school related things. But then again, that isn’t so interesting, is it?

To give you an update on my most recent dating escapades: T4.0 came to town last weekend and while it was nice to see him, I am over it. OVER IT, it a capital O. I do not want to continue a long distance love affair. I do not want to always be thinking about, texting, or emailing him on a regular basis. And I do no want him to do those things to me. It is time to move on. It was what it was. Over. Finished. I will be telling him this shortly.

Gucci is still around, but totally not pretentious or weird. Although he told me recently that he still is interested in seeing where this goes, but I think he already knows. Nowhere.

Then I had a crazy date with this 22-year-old who I am gonna call Stinky. Uber-hipster, whose art is his life, he couldn’t even shower for our first date, and incessantly texted me afterwards, and even showed at an event I was at. He is further blocked from gchats, even though he called the next day(at 11pm, mind you) to apologize for his crazy, incoherent texts/vms. Now do you see, MAsh, why I do not date younger guys? Age-elitist, my ass.

Finally, there is this 35 yr old mid 2oth-century lit major at UofC. Incredibly attractive, but very awkward. I had a date with him last night and things were easy, but slightly weird in that, hey, I do not think I should be as intimidated about your hotness because you are weirder then the average bear kinda weird. He asked me if I get hit on a lot, and why would I want to use OKC? It was awkward…..

Ah….either way, I feel good. I am not worried or stressing the fact that I am not with someone or looking for someone. I am just up for an adventure. Besides, I got a lot of shit going on with school and trying to find a new apartment and internships.  And I will not settle for random sex. I am holding out for the next best thing and randomness hasn’t gotten me anywhere. I am going to let it flow….

Sleepless in Chicago

Ah…its almost 3 am and I am still up. I tend to stay up later than usual when I am sober and having ADD. I am pretty sure that is not a good thing, but whatever. I can’t do anything about it now. So how about an update instead?

Gucci came over last night, after some failed attempts to get together during the week. After a glass of wine, I got myself some liquid courage and told him that what we had going on was never going to be serious for us and that he is emotionally unaffected. He thought emotionally despondent was a better term. Either way, we are now on the same page for regular sex hook ups and hang outs. I told him my plan and, while trepid at first, he likes the idea. I like the idea that I am pushing him into new directions. If he finds out he is really gay, great. But if he choose that sucking dick isn’t his kinda thing (and he is for sure a bottom) then, at least he had an interesting experience that is great for stories. So today, we both got on OKC and start rifling through the photos. figuring out what we like. Sending out emails is next and we even agreed on some good ground rules. Let’s see if he can stick to them. It’s all going as planned! Wha ha ha ha!!

But funny note, after discussing everything with Gucci last night, I was feeling good and ready for some sex. I had been feeling the pinch lately and it has constantly been on my mind. Got up to pee and when I finished I realized I got my fucking period,  a week early. Damn you, blasted womanhood! You really know how to kick a girl when she is down.

I also connected with a few other people from OKC  too. I have drinks set up tomorrow with a young lezzy, I do not know how I feel about dating younger people, but my friend MAsh tells me I am an age-elitist, so I am trying to be more superficial instead. Maybe that will work for me, since nothing else has? On Wednesday, I have drinks planned with this guy who I have been playing tag with since October. He is a little weird and very flaky I think, so I am not putting too much on that one. I might have another date set up with a guy for coffee during the week, possibly Friday. He is a chef/wine guy who has pursued me somewhat fastidiously. Physically, I am not sure if I that attracted to him, but it would be interesting to talk to him since he says he is polyamorous.

Then there was the poor econ guy. I went out with him a couple times, he bought me a case of Red Bull, after our first date and a vchat. Yes, a fucking case. The guy was trying to kill me. He has been emailing me, and texting, I have been lying relatively low. It’s nice to talk to him since he understands what I study. I even was encouraging him to apply to my grad school and even to come to the next grad student assembly meeting. However,  we never did anything but kiss, and while he is a nice guy, I am so not attracted to him. He is 5’11″ and weights 135 pounds. Thats 15 more pounds than me AND he is only 5 inches taller. I couldn’t handle it. Besides that he has a horrible Michigan accent. So today I called him and told him, with heart wrenching honesty that I wasn’t attracted to him and that I would love to still be his friend. He tried to tell me there was a connection, I wasnt about ready to tell him there wasn’t, I just said I am not attracted to him. He told me he doesn’t think he could be friends.

Ah….now T4.0 is coming into town next Thursday for a long, really long weekend. It will be fun and chill. I do not know what I am going to do with my other potential suitors but I am sure they will understand.

Status updates

So I got a lot to update here and now sure how much I am going to get through. But here goes:

T4.0 is still around. He showed up in Mexico and we had a great time, but lately I feel like he is holding on to me and I just want to be free. Yes, I fell for him. Yes, we have great sex. Yes, we have a great time when we are together, but shit, man, we aren’t together right now and we do not necessarily know when we will be. So let me be! But then again, we discussed that when applying for my internships, many of them, if not most, will be in DC. And if by chance I do not find any other internships at all, I will be going to DC anyway. But, with such due diligence, I have applied to San Francisco, DC, Boston, NYC, Chicago and Rhode Island. I have a better chance of getting into RI then anywhere else since there aren’t any schools doing what I study there, but we will see. He might come into town on the 19th for the weekend.

Gucci is still around, but I am a little bored of him. He is just weird and not really what I want in a relationship. One of the things that bugs me is that he kinda acts gay sometimes. And he has told me, that while he has never had a situation where he has been with a guy or near another guy’s dick, he isn’t oppose to it either. Kinda weird, but modern day women generally do not want to see their guys emasculated, right. I was just gonna let it take its course and fall through the cracks, but then I realized I have a gold mine here! So I proposed we have some threesomes. We’ll start off with a girl or two, get him comfortable, then fid a dude that wouldn’t mind necessarily if Gucci touched his cock. Its a win win for both of us; I get to fuck girls, AND when we bring a dude in, I get both. He gets to fuck 2 girls at once, and when we bring a dude in, he can see how he feels. If it freaks him out and he chooses not to go that route, then cool. And if he likes it and wants to meet up with the guy later, doubly cool. And I was thinking to myself that what better situation to do this then with someone that you are not emotionally attached too, right? FIELD DAY! Now, the problem is implementation.

Which brings me to my third update. I started on again with OKC. I just like it better then match.com. I created a profile that says I am bi, but looking for friends only. Everyone who has been on the site knows that is just a casual way of addressing that you are looking, but not being out and out, so that douchebag guys aren’t going after the bi-girl looking for sex. I am not sure what I really want right now anyway, so this is a way for me to meet, date, and shag, whoever I want, without it being serious. Chill.

Funny and True

From tfln.com

(580): the snow is so cold on my vagina.
(405): why do you have snow on your vagina?
(580): vodka and heels.

Sex Horoscope for Feb

Looks likes its gonna be a cold one for me. Great

From Ida Lovelace
Overall: 2 of Whips

Challenge: Knight of Whips

Homework: 6 of Fantasies

I wish I could say February will rock your world, but, really, it is going to be a rather introspective month. Spend some time reflecting on your life, especially around the new moon. Curb your desire to run away and join the circus and, instead, focus on finding some peace within. This month, just think of your life as an episode of KungFu.The good news is that this is the perfect time to catch up with old flames and maybe do some rekindling. Reach out and touch someone. I’m sure it will lead to some memorable fun.

Where men are men

I came across this article called “Workwear – Built to last, Men are Working It” on SFgate about how work wear is becoming more and more popular in the modern fashion of our time. I agree with that, but think they left out another important reason as to why it is becoming popular; women want men to be men. Plain and simple, the rugged look and simple attire is sexy and implies masculinity, with a little bit of attitude. Yum

when men are men

Emotionally unaffected

Gucci seems to have been born missing this very important gene. Or maybe he is ignoring it. Or maybe he is just clueless to sensitivity issues, but whatever it is, I am getting tired of him.

Case in point, on Friday I invited him out with my friends for drinks. He shows with an entourage in tow. One girl from the group introduces herself to us, and that was about it. Halfway through the night I notice his ex girlfriend sitting across the way from me and ask him about it. And this just wasnt his ex years ago, she only went as far back as September. They traveled to the Middle East together. It was pseudo serious. He feigns innocence and asks if we didn’t introduce each other. Nope. Neither of us did. However, I come to find out that he had explained to her we were seeing each other. Which, make the situation even more awkward, as she should have gone out of her way to say hello to me. Or, he should have at least told me she was coming. It’s just polite, regardless of the fact that I was totally fine with the situation.
I should have seen the writing on the wall earlier though. On our third date, he was over for dinner and told me this long, convoluted story about this girl he was on a date with once was picked up by Andrew Bird’s group at dinner one night. But instead of telling me just that part, he starts with how this girl posted a missed connections about him in Columbus, and he responded. They had a few dates, she moved to Chicago. When he got here, they met up and she was dating someone. Fast forward a year, she is leaving in a month for Boston or something, and breaks up with her bf. Her and Gucci have this quick love affair, where nothing happened, but it was the unrequited lovers lost due to timing. And now they aren’t and can’t be together due to distance.

When he told me this story, I was like, WTF? Did he seriously just tell me he was in love with this woman and we are on our 3rd date, with plans for him to sleep over? I knew at that point where we were headed and knew that nothing would ever come of our situation, which I am totally fine with. He is emotionally young and unaffected by these things.

And when I break up with him, I plan to tell him that, in a constructive way, of course.

Trying it out

So Gucci came over last night, but bc I was still under the weather from Montezuma’s Revenge, nothing happened but some heavy petting and lots of talking.

At one point, he told me that he did his research and looked up Magnum condoms. I had offered this info to him earlier, trying to help him be more comfortable, and you know, so we could work it out.

“Really? Huh”, I replied once he told me he looked it up on wikipedia
“Yeah, and then I went and bought a 15 pack. I even tried one on”
“Why would you try it on, just to try it on?” I said
“Just to make sure it fit”
“So you just tried it out and used a condom for no other reason?”, I asked
“Well, then I jerked off with it on too. It felt so much better than the other ones. I can’t believe I was using them for so long and had no idea they didn’t fit.”

See, this is why I never generally date guys younger than me, because, while most of the time, they are surely book smart, they are all still pretty stupid.

On another funny note, from Texts from Last Night:

(540): she had condoms in her med. cabinet – magnums -I don’t think I’m tall enough for this ride